Divorce can be sad and stressful. Anxiety and depression often accompany divorce. Imagine having a contested child custody case. What if your spouse refuses to pay alimony or child support? Anger and fear may enter into your life.
The emotions people getting divorced undergo range from joy and relief to negative feelings of being scared and out of control. Find your way out. One of the keys to reversing your fortunes is to find others in need and help them move their lives forward.
The old adage "there is always someone worse off than you" is inherently true. Each of us can look deep into the worst moments we have experienced in our lives. With a few exceptions and after several weeks or months, we usually can take an honest appraisal of our lives and think of someone else who has had to endure even worse trauma in their own lives.
If you do not think that divorce is a time of sadness, ask anyone who has gone through it. Ultimately, divorce has a way of making life better in most, although certainly not all, families. Divorcing spouses rely on their "villages" to help them work through the inevitable and necessary emotions of divorce.
Turning A Negative Into A Positive
The negative and challenging emotions surrounding divorce often can be reversed and made positive by looking at divorce as a time of personal renewal.
Remember the old adage: "You have to do the things you have to do before you can do the things you want to do." If you are divorcing, you need to take care of yourself first. Be selfish. Get your team together. This will begin with a highly experienced divorce attorney.
Often, your team also will include a financial planner, investment counselor, estates professional and/or CPA, as well as a counselor or other mental health therapist. In certain cases, you may need an expert to value a business, an appraiser, a real estate broker or myriad other professionals to walk you through your process. Retirement and college planning experts have become a mainstay of divorce law.
Your divorce attorney will be able to give you multiple names of professionals to interview. If your lawyer cannot do that, find another lawyer.
Your friends will be there for you. They will provide you with a sounding board. They may serve as witnesses to help you obtain your divorce, support your claim for child custody and even provide valuable lifestyle testimony when it comes to deciding alimony and the division of assets.
Getting On With Your Life Following Divorce
Once you've made it through your divorce, it is now time to rid yourself of the negative baggage in your life — both literally and figuratively.
First, get rid of all of the "stuff" you no longer need or that gives you bad memories. Do you have any idea how many places will come out to your home and take away the stuff you no longer need? And do you have any idea how many lives you can make better?
Think about your divorce as being a time you can help make the world a better place, starting with yourself and moving outward. You may find a great deal of personal satisfaction and a way to add value to your life by adding value to the lives of others who are less fortunate than you. All too often, divorce leaves people financially challenged.
Helping Each Other
We are all fortunate to live in a community where the opportunities to do good abound. In fact, we even have organizations whose purpose is to help fund and help you find worthy organizations. An hour a week — or more — of volunteering can change the lives of others, and change yours, as well.
Donating old furniture to a community safe house is highly rewarding. There are hundreds of places within our community where you can donate your time, helping both people and organizations. You will find them throughout this issue of The Business Monthly.
Let's look at this another way. When you are going through a divorce, you rely on the kindness of friends, family and others. They are usually only too happy to help you through your time of need.
In a day and age where we experience so much societal tragedy, engage in acts of kindness, civility, caring and healing for others in need in our community. Your life will be instantly enriched.
To learn more about what you can do to better your circumstances, contact the Ellicott City law firm, SIEGELLAW, by calling 410-792-2300.